Sixty Minute Man

For everyone who appreciates the value of a good lay, we celebrate Billy Ward and His Dominoes’ seminal ode to great boning. Now how on earth this blew past the decency keepers in 1951, I can’t imagine. There was a lot of dirty blues filled with double entendres that managed to sneak by the censors, but this isn’t even bothering to pretend to be about anything besides what it is. Anyone who isn’t a cloistered virgin knows exactly what our man is talking about, and somehow this became a hit record. Maybe folks back then were naughtier than we give them credit for. And, miraculously enough, it’s still the basic outline for good lovin’ that kids today can learn from: 15 minutes of kissin’, 15 minutes of teasin’, 15 minutes of squeezin’ and 15 minutes of “blowin’ my top”. This guy was good in the sack and he knew it. Cheers to him and others like him.

Maybellene

Chuck Berry is a huge fan of ladies’ makeup products, and that’s why he wrote a song shilling for the Maybellene cosmetic company. The end. No. Chuck Berry was such a huge fan of Bob Wills & The Texas Playboys that he just had to rip off their song Ida Red. Because if there’s one problem with American pop culture, it’s black people always stealing ideas from men who wear cowboy hats. *sarcasm* Actually, it’s a little bit of both. Berry was inspired by Wills’ tune. He often covered it in concert, and even wanted to record his own version, until Chess Records’ Leonard Chess dismissed it as ‘too rural’. It was Chess who had the idea to market “a hillbilly song sung by a black man.” Thus Berry’s signature sound was born; designed to crib from the blues for black appeal, and ‘hillbilly’ country for white appeal. And, yes, he totally lifted the name Maybellene from the cosmetics manufacturer, if you were wondering which came first.