The internet hive mind has rarely produced anything as brilliant as turning Nick Cave’s Red Right Hand into a Dr. Seuss book. Mashups are usually bad, stupid, the wishful fruit of deranged fans trying to fit disparate interests into one box. But it turns out that Nick Cave was born to write children’s books, though he may not yet know it himself. His narratives may be of a kind with the Brothers Grimm, ominous and filled with bloody reminders of just how dark and full of terrors the human soul can be. His lively wordplay and frequent references to bunnies would readily appeal to young Little Golden Book readers, provided they’re the sort of children who rarely leave the attic. Cave lifted the inspiration for this particular meditation on the nature of God from Dante’s Inferno. In that reference the red right hand is the vengeful hand of an angry God, but could just as easily be the calling card of a villain who would be right at home in anything from a Victorian morality novel, to a pulp detective story, to any number of slasher movies, to a neo-noir comic book. Or, quite naturally, a Dr. Seuss book. Dr. Seuss, for his part, started his career as a political cartoonist, and an undercurrent of allegory and political commentary was always right underneath those ice-cream colored squiggles of his. If you’ve seen his WWII era work, you’ll recognize exactly where Yertle the Turtle came from. Those Sneetches marching around with and without yellow stars on their bellies weren’t a coincidence either. Seuss never went so far as to illustrate Dante, but maybe he should have, and he certainly could have, and it’s our loss that he didn’t. Here and now, though, I’m wondering if there’s a crowdfund for the artist who goes by Dr. Faustus to go ahead and create The Little Golden Treasury of Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds. Because if that was a thing, and if I had a child, I would buy that thing for my child.