Nasty Girl


#ClassyLadyShit right here! This is a song I’ve always felt a deep affinity for. I feel like it really represents my values and reflects my lifestyle. Because I like to think I’m nothing if not nasty. Truly, a camp classic of the so-bad-it’s-awesome variety, this is the novelty hit that won’t quit.This song might be the literal musical equivalent of mid-80’s softcore porn. Lo and behold, then, Vanity 6 frontlady Denise Matthews actually was a nudie model before Prince attempted to goose her to pop stardom. Prince failed to build a star out of Vanity (just as he would later fail with Apollonia, Sheila E and other ‘protegees’ whose main qualification was ‘deemed fuckable by Prince’) but he did manage to wring a handful of rather delightfully campy songs out of the project. Yes, for those who’ve had a taste and want more, there is an entire Vanity 6 album in a similar vein, which is both terrible and fantastic, in the sense of being pure unintentional camp of the highest order. I think my favorite thing about the whole mess, aside from the uplifting message of personal empowerment, is the adorably middle-school appropriate conception of sexuality. What does a modern, sexually active woman do? Nasty things. How does she live her life? In a nasty world. What does she think about all day? Nasty things. How does sexual intercourse actually work? Prince evidently doesn’t know, but he’s pretty sure it’s, like, all nasty and stuff. Also, let it be known that this was several years before Janet Jackson’s hit Nasty made the adjective her own. And also, why doesn’t Victoria’s Secret sell those one-piece lace teddies anymore? Those things were like the epitome of loose-woman glamour when I was a kid.

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