Led Zeppelin wasn’t talking about any actual immigrants. They were, as the British are wont to do, appropriating a foreign culture, in this case Norse mythology. It’s badassness revealed, upon closer inspection, as nerdery. Jimmy Page and Robert Plant were, of course, two of rockdom’s greatest nerds. They thought ancient mythology was just the coolest and, through the powers of their own cool, made everyone else believe it too. Who, upon hearing this, doesn’t immediately visualize the sheer awesomeness of an invading horde of vaguely Vikinglike supernatural warriors with guitars? Today we prize our pop stars for their glazed, mouth-breathing ‘fresh off the assembly line’ demeanor, and it’s kind of shocking and saddening to realize that back in the day the global rock gods were book-hoarding mega-brains like Page and Plant or Jim Morrison. OMG, sexy and intelligent rock stars? With, like, their very own personalities and things to say and ideas they cared passionately about. Le sigh. That’s totally not how I aimed to write this song up. I was gonna go all fangirl and gushy about how toweringly stupendous Led Zeppelin used to be. But I got all caught up on the used to be. Because there’s no more Led Zeppelin, and although Page and Plant do still exist and even tolerate each other, they will never be the same Led Zeppelin they used to, and there’s just nothing to compare it to. And that’s depressing as all fuck. Sorry.