Heavy Horses

Sometimes on here I have to stop and think about what it is that makes a song important. Sometimes I even have to struggle to come up with something nice to say. This is something I don’t have to wonder about at all. Heavy Horses is simply one of the most important songs in my life. (It’s one of the most important albums in  my life.) Not least because I’ve always loved horses. If I loved horses how could I not love a song about horses? Especially since Ian Anderson isn’t just singing about horses on a whim or making some vague metaphor. He clearly knows a lot about them, enough to use proper terminology that leaves non-horse people confused. And of course, it’s clear he really loves them, too. Anderson is a guy with a passion for animals, farming, and the country life, rock’n'roll’s only nature poet. There are a few other animal lovers who like to sing about it, including Paul McCartney and (surprisingly) Nick Cave, but none of them approach Anderson’s passion and wide-eyed wonder towards mice, cats, horses, even moths. Here is a man after my own heart, I think. There are few sights more magnificent than a horse – they are the most beautiful animals, and besides cats and dogs, they are our closest and most beloved animal companions. There are a million reasons why horses are so appealing; besides their beauty we love their intelligence, their expressive personalities, their generous willingness to let us sit on their backs, etc. It would seem impossible to write a single song that captures that mystique, but here Jethro Tull has done it. Heavy Horses is like a little symphony, worthy of its subject, an ode to centuries of collaboration between man and animal, and an angry protest against an industrialized world that has turned away from that friendship. Yes, it’s a tragedy that horsemanship has faded from universal pleasure to boutique hobby, but we’ll never really forget, because we love them too much.

Cute of the Week: Dik-Diks

I haven’t done a cute post in years, but I just have to now. I actually just bought a lithograph of a dik-dik, and it made me want to see more dik-diks. In case you’ve never heard of them, dik-diks are teeny-tiny little antelopes which live in Africa. They have weird tubular snouts, stumpy spiral horns, enormous big eyes and ears, and average about the size of a cat. Thanks to all that, they possess supernatural powers of cuteness.

Cute of the Week: Baby Platypi

Platypi? Platypuses? Platypussies? Platypups!

Animals Make Us Human

Animals Make Us Human is the latest book by Dr Temple Grandin, one of my heroes. I just spent an hour writing up a review. Unfortunately, somewhere between opening the draft and publishing it, it got lost. FUCK!

So I’ll give you someone else’s review. Anyway, I’m sure The New York Times review is way better than anything I wrote. Now I’m depressed and angry.

I’ll just say that any book by Temple Grandin is highly recommended, for anyone who cares about animal welfare or who’s interested in the mysteries of autism, or the science of perception, or animal (and human) nature.

Book of the Month: The Unscratchables

The Unscratchables by Cornelius Kane (a.k.a. Anthony O’Neill) is the best book I’ve read all year. I read it in one day and I want more. It is a mystery novel about an unlikely duo brought together to solve a series of violent murders.  Detective Max McNash is an ordinary blue collar cop patrolling a tough neighborhood. He’s a fan of boxing, eats his dinner from a can and has some baggage left over from the war. F.B.I. agent Cassius Lap is an erudite intellectual with a taste for soy milk and a collection of degrees from prestigious schools. McNash drives a beat-up Rover. Lap has a brand new Jaguar. Lap lives in luxury on the salmon shapes island of Kathattan. McNash patrols the mean streets of The Kennel. Lap is a cinnamon-point Siamese. McNash is a ‘bullie’, or bull terrier. They both live in a parrallel universe where cats and dogs go to work, drive cars, shoot guns, read The Scratching Post, and watch movies starring Brad Pitbull.

The Unscratchables is a satire that perfectly apes classic detective novels, and also takes aim at the ills of our own society. The main concept, animal protagonists, is irressistable in and of itself. The story is full of nervous Whippets, slobbering Mastiffs, and sly foxes. But the charm is more than just furry characters. The whole world is incredibly detailed, and it’s amazing how well Kane turns the hard-boiled language of noir fiction on its head. The animals have their own slang and sayings. Chihuahuas are ‘wowers, cars are ‘tooters, the sly fox drives a Fuchswagen. It rains “rats and mice” while pups and kittens visit The Museum of Reigning Cats and Dogs. It’s also a world full of references to our own. Some are broad ( i.e. quotations from Shakespaw), some not so much; the McNash pups attend an Obedience School with the motto “Give me the pup at 7 months, and I’ll give you the dog”. The puns and homages are endlessly amusing, but there’s more cooking than just wordplay. Kane explores how the natural psychology of dogs and cats affects their interaction. The dogs may be smart, but they just can’t help but obey words like ‘stay’ and ‘fetch’. This obedience has made it easy for the feline elite to manipulate the canine masses.

What starts as a murder leads to a massive conspiracy and a web of corruption that leads all the way up to President Goodboy. It’s no spoiler to say that our heroes overcome their mutual prejudices and develop an affection for each other. Eventually the mystery is solved. On the way, there are good cats and bad cats. There’s a Hannibal Lecter cat. There are good and bad dogs. There’s sly fox and his vixen. There’s a message about mutual respect and understanding, and a warning about the dangers of obeying too easily.

I really hope this becomes a series.

Book reports

I’m really behind on my book reports, and not just because I’ve been consumi g mass amounts of teenage vampire porn. I’ve put away a lot of books, and I can’t seem to get it together to review them. The more I fall behind the harder it is.  So I’ll just jot down a few quick reviews.

I’ve continued to educate myself with a series of scientific books about important wildlife related issues

Stolzenburg explores the ecological impact of large predator extinction. The depressing fact is that when the top of the food chain is eliminated, populations of prey animals explode, leading to habitat destruction, epidemic disease and ecological chaos. From controlled experiments with starfish is tide pools, to isolated island environments, to unimposing but ecologically vital sea otters,  examples of this effect are abundant. It is disheartening to learn the vital importance of predators just as their numbers are plummeting faster than ever. There are a few rays of hope. The reintroduction of wolves to Yellowstone, and the subsequent benefits to the park is a particularly inspiring success story. Where the Wild Things Were is also outstanding because unlike most books penned by scientists it is written in witty and sparkling prose. Stolzenburg makes his point compellingly, dramatically and the book is as well written as any novel and impossible to put down.

Less sparkling but also educational.Crump’s book is about animal behaviours that are particularly striking and exotic. There are the cannibal praying manti and spiders of the title, home improvement loving bower birds, marsupial frogs and other little understood creatures with unique strategies for survival. Ford, meanwhile, makes the case for sentient thought among animals, insects and even plants. He argues that just because we don’t understand animal communication doesn’t mean it’s not there, and even if we don’t see animal emotions doesn’t mean they don’t exist. He points to the complex communication of bees and ants, and the often surprising adaptability and intelligence of creatures great and small, that could only be a result of conscious thought and decision making.

And I haven’t forgot the human animal.

Mary Roach is the author of Stiff, an in-depth look at death and the science and culture that surrounds it  In Bonk Roach explores the lighter side of sex research. In her usual hilarious style she covers familiar subjects like the eccentricities of Kinsey as well as lesser known sexual truth seekers like Marie Bonaparte. There are visits to sex-toy manufacturers, a world famous surgeon devoted to penile enhancement, and a very sexy MRI. All those statistics and fun facts that end up in Cosmopolitan? Somebody somewhere has done some serious research to bring them to light. Meet the people whose job it is to study things most of us wouldn’t speak of in public.

Meanwhile, Susan Seligson purports to explore our massive cultural obsession with boobies. Breasts are, of course, fascinating and mysterious things. Why do humans have such huge udders when no other primates do? We don’t know, and we don’t even have any good theories. Seligson touches on several interesting aspects of breast culture including various means of enhancement, the enduring and mystifying popularity of titty models with names like Maxi Mounds (fun fact: Mounds is a lesbian). Much of it is fascinating, funny and a wee bit disturbing. The problem is that Seligson constantly inserts herself into the story. The chapter supposedly about Maxi Mounds and her ilk, for example, becomes a chapter about Seligson’s adventures at a Vegas pole dancing convention. She’s compensating for the fact that she never met Mounds, but personal anecdotes should not take the place of insight, and too often they do. Seligson’s feelings about her own honkers don’t help the reader understand the cultural significance of breasts. No, it’s just navel (of boobie) gazing at the expense journalism.

I read two novels as well.

First there was Talk Talk by one of my favorite living authors, T.C. Boyle. I never miss a Boyle story in the New Yorker. Boyle has a knack for creating absurd situations and making them somehow totally believable, and making us understand characters who do ridiculous foolish things. In Talk Talk the story alternates between a young deaf woman whose identity is stolen, and the thief himself. The thief is, no surprise, an asshole, but I wound up rooting for him. The novel is very funny and fast paced, but doesn’t have the human depth of my standing Boyle favorite The Inner Circle.

Most recently I read Jim Crace’s The Pesthouse, a love story set in a distopian future very different from the ones we’re used to. Actually, critics have compared The Pesthouse to Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, but since I haven’t read the latter I can’t judge. For an more insight please refer to Joyce Carol Oates’ review in the New Yorker (April 30 2007).

Besides all this I finished the Twilight series. Verdict: books 1 and 2 – suck. Book 3 – pretty good. Book 4 – awesome! I am currently exercising my brain muscle by revisiting Harry Potter – in Russian. (the ability to read Russian spontaneously came to me on a night of heavy drug use)

The Compassionate Carnivore

(not the same as a ‘compassionate conservative’)

I love meat. Great big juicy bloody chunks of it. Give me some raw venison with pepper on it. I lamb, I love veal, I love liver, I love sweetbreads, I love ribs, I love quail, I love rabbit. I also love animals. Nothing upsets me more that the thought of an animal being hurt. People who hurt animals should be taken out and shot. I’m also well aware that for me to eat meat, animals have to die. Now, some people may say that as an animal lover, I should renounce eating meat. Some people believe that killing animals for food is wrong. I disagree. I believe that we humans are carnivores at heart, and that eating animal flesh is a good and natural thing to do.

This is where Catherine Friend’s book comes in. Friend is a farmer. She raises chickens and sheep. To eat. In her book, she explains how it is possible to both cherish and consume animals. The first step to take is to become informed about where meat comes from.

I am one of the lucky few who grew up on a farm. I witnessed animals live, eat, mate, and die.  Animals fought, killed and ate each other. Chicks hatched and  grew and some got eaten. Rabbits were born and died, sometimes violently.  Most people don’t get to live around animals anymore. People are ridiculously out of touch with animal lives. Everywhere we see clueless people who spend hundreds of dollars on ‘therapy’ for their designer dogs while thoughtlessly gobbling down chicken mcnuggets. Just as they don’t realize their dog is miserable wearing a princess outfit, they don’t realize that same dog will happily devour anything smaller than itself given half a chance to do so.

Friend recommends learning what consititutes a natural, happy life for a farm animal. By allowing our animals to live out their lives as naturally as possible we get better quality meat. While the majority of food animals are still raised and slaughtered with hellacious cruelty, there are plenty of humane alternatives for those who wish to find them. Friend carefull describes how farms operate, both factory and family style. She explains the meaning of common labels like cage-free, free range, grass fed, grass finished, organic, local, cruelty free, etc.  A lot of her material was already familiar to me, including the work of Temple Grandin and other animal welfare experts. Her advice on becoming a more responsible eater is really helpfull to anyone like me, who want to have their lamb and eat it too. One excellent point that Friend makes is that becoming a vegetarian doesn’t really help the welfare of animals. Vegetarianism is really a form of wimping out instead of searching for a solution. If everyone who opposes the cruel factory farming system became a vegetarian, who would be left? Only those who don’t care. We can change the system not by boycotting it, but by supporting methods we believe in. The more consumers choose to support small farmers who raise their animals humanely, the faster the factory system will be made obsolete. Many large companies have already made changes in the right direction, including Tyson, which no longer gives its animals growth hormones. Companies will only implement change under pressure from consumers who demand more humtane practices.

Another good point to think about. If we all stopped eating meat, what would become of all the chickens? There would be no more chickens, that’s what. The only reason chickens exist is to be eaten. Who would bother raising cattle if nobody ate beef? There would be no more cattle. No more pigs, no more sheep, no more cows, no more chickens. These animals exist for us. To eat. What we owe them is a little dignity during their time on earth.

Book Report…part 1

I’ve been finding time to do a lot of reading the last few weeks, so I have three books down. Three very different, but educational, books.

In Dark Banquet we learn about animals who feed on the blood of othe rs. The most famous and fascinating of those is the vampire bat. Bill Schutt is a bat biologist, who has trekked through swamps and jungles in pursuit of his subjects. However, he has to admit that very little is known about the lives of vampire bats. There are three vampire bat species. Thanks to human superstition and fear, they have been persecuted instead of studied. Schutt provides about as much knowledge as there is about these creatures. Vampire bats are physiologically well adapted to a challenging lifestyle. Their feeding habits have led to a unique digestive system and metabolism. They are also exteremely intelligent, learning, for example, to obtain an easy meal from chickens by mimicing chicks. They are ( no the most attractive of bats (that honor would go to the fruit bat), but they can be cute in their own way.

Compared to some of the other heroes of Dark Banquet, vampire bats are irresistably cuddly. Schutt also discusses parasitic vampires like ticks, mites, chiggers and bedbugs. These pests spread itchiness and disease, and thrive among human populations. Bedbugs in particular are a horrifying menace. They are very small and very mobile. They make homes wherever there is dark space to hide. They are diffucult to exterminate. They are everywhere – inside the walls, inside your furniture, in your luggage, in your clothes, under the carpet.

The most repulsive blood feeding animal is the leech. Leeches are squishy, squiggly worms with razor sharp teeth and blood thinning saliva. They are also the most likely to saveives. While leeching and bleeding are no longer the catch-all cure they used to be, leeches have once again become an important medical tool. Leeches are used to stimulate blood flow in reattached body parts, from limbs to ears to fingers. John Wayne Bobbitt’s surgeons used leeches to reattach his penis. Lord Byron died after a vigorous leeching. Leech saliva has been studied for its properties as a anticoagulant and painkiller.

Besides insight into these oft overlooked creatures, Schutt also offers a detailed and easy to understand introduction to the biology of blood itself. There is also a lot of historical information about the medical history of leeching and bloodletting, including an in-depth look at the death of George Washington. All this not always pleasant information is presented in a light and humerous manner. The author is well aware of the absurdity of studying bedbugs, or bottle feeding baby bats, or making a living as a leech distributer.

Cute of the Week: Owls

Owls are amazingly cool birds. They are cuddly in appearance and yet deadly predators. As you know, owls are nocturnal hunters with enormous eyes, swiveling heads and razor sharp talons. They have keen hearing and eyesight. They range worldwide and thrive in a variety of environments. There are 150 owl species, some of whom face endangerment.

Albrecht Durer, 1508

Ando Hiroshige

Pablo Picasso

John Audubon

Scott Stroka

As a child I learned about owls at the Three Rivers Avian Center in West Virginia. Founded in 1990 this nonprofit orginization was originally called the Raptor Center, because they focussed at first on rescue and rehabilitation of predatory birds. Today they have expanded to rescuing birds from all walks of life, so to speak. When I was growing up, they were an important part of our community, providing many educational oppurtinities for children. I was happy to learn that Twister, the barn owl I had seen on many occasions, is still alive and well.

Three Rivers Avian Center,   Brooks Mountain Road,   HC 74  Box 279,   Brooks, WV 25951     Phone:(304) 466-4683

Tell Me Where It Hurts

Tell Me Where It Hurts: A Day of Humor, Healing and Hope in My Life as an Animal Surgeon by Nick Trout

 

I grabbed this book off the library shelf because of the cover. My own dog is a boston terrier, so the sad boston buddy immediately caught my eye. I’m glad I did. The book is a day in the life of a busy animal surgeon.  Our  hero begins his day in the wee wee hours with an emergency operation on a very sick german sheperd, then bonds with the dog’s elderly owner. The rest of the day goes on with run of the mill cases to mysterious afflictions. All this is intercut with flashbacks of particularly memorable patients, including a hermaphoriditic boxer. Trout also informs about the latest trends in veterinary science. The book is very straightforward and the scientific details are explained in a simple manner. The whole story is very humorous and touching.