Billie Jean


Guess who died a year ago today. Yeah. That makes it the first time in over two decades that admitting you like Billie Jean is not a humiliating embarrassment. Funny how that works. Michael Jackson had to die and stay dead for a while before everyone could just admit that his whole life was a gigantic trainwreck which anyone with a little decency should have averted their eyes from,  but nobody did, because it was ghoulishly entertaining, and as a direct result a poor fucked up kid got the life sucked out of him in front of  a schadenfruede-happy world. The moral lesson is, among other things, sometimes having unlimited material resources does more harm than good. It’s no revelation that Jackson had a traumatic childhood. If only he’d had some incentive to try and fit the mold and become a productive member of society – i.e. someone with a regular job, a boss to answer to, a circle of non-sycophant acquaintances, etc –  perhaps he would’ve sucked it up, gone into therapy, and dealt with it like normal people do. Instead of having the freedom to disappear so completely into a world of his own making that he was naive enough to think it was ok for a middle aged man to have sleepovers with other people’s children. Just saying. Anyhow, it is now officially safe to stop treating your Michael Jackson’s Greatest Hits cd like it was porno and bring it out from wherever you’ve been hiding it all these years.

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