Candidate

Ok, I have no idea how this clip sounds, I can’t hear it, I’m on a public computer, I have less than 10 minutes to get my work done, and the person who downloaded a virus to my laptop will burn and fry.

Can’t You Hear Me Knocking?

The Stones may be a lot of things but they are not a jam band. Whether through their own collectively short attention spans or the short attention spans of their fans, they just don’t go in for lengthy solos. The Stones do not meander; they mean business. For which I love them. I hate jam bands, especially ones who permit drum solos. There have been rare instances of the Stones jamming and putting it on record. There were a couple of anemic instrumentals in the way early days. Then there was Can’t You Hear Me Knocking? on Sticky Fingers. It starts like any regular old Rolling Stones chugger, then evolves or devolves into a seven minute jam out. Not like other people’s boring jams either. It’s a real jacked-up r’n'b jam that allows dancing. I’m glad they decided to resurrect it on their last tour. It’s nice to see them get away from the abc’s of their usual hits. Very  brave of Ronnie to put his own stamp on something so closely associated with Mick Taylor. They did great.

Unrelatedly, be prepared for a week or two of highly interrupted service. I’m having my laptop devirused and will  be relying on public access computers.

Can’t Stop Feeling

Alex Kapranos is a nice Scottish lad who has a great band, a Greek name and the withering good looks of a small time Red Square  hustler circa 1992. That is, he has fantastic mega rock star potential that hasn’t yet coalesced into full tabloid glory. Yeah, he really needs to focus on his pinup career.

Can’t Stand Losing You

I really must purchase the TOTP dvd. So many priceless ‘performances’. Observe here how Sting doesn’t even bother to point his face in the direction of the ‘microphone’. (Some didn’t bother to even have a ‘microphone’.) I’m not sure how anyone performed this show with a straight face at all. They must have desired the publicity quite badly. This is dated 1978-ish. The Police were really good in 1978. Too bad Stingster has abandoned musicality in favor of self-righteous douchetude. Oh, Sting, if you still made good music we could forgive and forget the Tantric sex tmi and general pretentiousness. Remember what he named the first three Police albums? Muchos pretentious, but it was ok, because those albums rocked. When he made a solo record in 1993 inspired by the Canterbury Tales, it was less than ok, because that album sadly did not rock at all. Whenever I think of Sting, which happens rarely, I imagine him as a rock and roll superhero, along with a justice league of other  mononymicaled  80′s pop stars; Tantric sex master, pointy breasted whore, world saving pope-kisser, Jehovah’s Witness and doesn’t play well with others. And Cher. Then I feel intensely sheepish for having allowed myself to entertain such damn silly thoughts. Yeah. Sting just doesn’t bring out any deep thoughts in me.

Can’t Let Go

Unrequited longing is ever so romantic, is it  not? Especially in the hands of Bryan Ferry. He’s mastered the mood of romantic sorrow. It’s a perfect balance, to not topple into the maudlin. And it is not written from guesswork. The Bride Stripped Bare was his first album after Jerry Hall ditched him for Mick Jagger, and “the music became blues”. Several tracks on the album are covers, and a typically diverse bunch they are. The original tracks, however, are where reality shows through. The four originals are all very mournful. While it’s true that Ferry had been mining the vein of heartache since day one, there’s a particular dark sincerity on Bride Stripped Bare. There’s no hint of camp, no wink, no humor. He really means it this time.

Can’t Keep It In

“Can’t keep it in/gotta let it out”

**dances**

Mm, how exuberant.

Can’t Help Loving dat Man

Too bad about the sappy video, right? Billie Holiday is never sappy. Romantic, yes. Sappy, no. She led too hard a life to ever make romance look easy.

Can’t Help But Smiling

Yes, Devendra Banhart time traveled from 1968 to bring acid-folk into the new millennium. But don’t tell anyone. Big secret.

Can’t Get Used to Losing You

It’s The English Beat to us Yanks, thank you very much. They are performing on BBC’s legendary TOTP. Legendary, but also notorious for using backing tracks instead of live performances. A look back at the archives reveals a Who’s Who of pop music gamely (some not so gamely) miming along into dead microphones. That is why Dave Wakeling looks so bemused here and also why  his mouth isn’t quite matching his vocals.

Can’t Buy Me Love

Of all the times pop music tried to get in bed with cinema no offspring was more brilliant than A Hard Day’s Night. That’s because it was 1964 and the Beatles were magic. They could do no wrong. The Beatles’ secret weapon, what made them, for a moment such natural movie stars, was that besides the musical genius all around they were together an inspired comedy troupe. It just came naturally. Here they are carrying on like Upper Class Twits of the Year, years before such an honorific was ever thought of.